He sometimes wore three overcoats and put his shoes on the wrong feet. In the days prior to his death, Gaye's parents had arguments mainly over a misplaced insurance policy letter. Angered by his father confronting his mother, Gaye commanded Marvin Sr. Alberta later told Ritz: "Marvin hit him. I shouted for him to stop, but he paid no attention to me.
He gave my husband some hard kicks. I was standing about eight feet away from Marvin, when my husband came to the door of the bedroom with his pistol. My husband didn't say anything, he just pointed the gun at Marvin. I screamed but it was very quick. He, my husband, shot — and Marvin screamed. I tried to run. Marvin slid down to the floor after the first shot. The first shot, which proved to be fatal, entered the right side of Gaye's chest, perforating his right lung, heart, diaphragm, liver, stomach and left kidney before coming to rest against his left flank. Michael Hunter expressed his belief that Gaye was initially shot nonfatally in the left shoulder by his father while the two men were standing two feet apart while facing each other.
Hunter believed that this first shot "penetrated the left shoulder just below the clavicle and exited his back without causing any serious injury", the impact of which caused Gaye to fall down. Afraid of being shot next, Alberta screamed and ran out of the bedroom, all the while pleading in fear to her husband not to shoot her. In the meantime, Gaye's brother Frankie and his sister-in-law, Irene, heard the shots as they lived in a guest house on the property. After the first shot, Frankie initially thought it sounded like a car backfired.
He's killed my boy. Frankie ran to the house and carefully walked into the hallway to his brother's room, not knowing if Marvin Sr. After walking into Gaye's bedroom, an emotional Frankie held him as Gaye bled rapidly. According to Frankie, Gaye, barely speaking above a whisper, told him, "I got what I wanted I couldn't do it myself, so I had him do it After searching over his bedroom, Irene located it under his pillow.
Upon exiting the house, Irene dropped the gun on the lawn. Immediately following this, Marvin Sr. The police arrived twenty minutes after the shooting. Gaye's body was taken out of the house and sent to the California Hospital Medical Center. An autopsy was conducted on Gaye's body shortly after his death. Test results showed that he had elements of cocaine and PCP or angel dust in his system.
When told that the report had concluded only that Gaye had just cocaine traces in his system, the judge said PCP was not a major factor in his decision. During an interview with the police, Gaye's father contended that he was scared that something would happen to him and that he only meant to shoot in self-defense , stating he did not know the gun had any bullets in it, claiming he thought there were either "blanks or BBs.
It's believed by Gaye's siblings that his death was a "premeditated suicide ". Jeanne later said that upon forcing his father's hand in the murder that he had "accomplished three things. He put himself out of his misery. He brought relief to Mother by finally getting her husband out of her life. And he punished Father, by making certain that the rest of his life would be miserable On April 5, , Gaye was given a star-studded funeral at Forest Lawn Memorial Park, Glendale , attended by over 10, mourners, including his Motown colleagues; his two ex-wives, Anna Gaye and Janis Gaye; and his siblings, mother and three children.
In accordance with the family's request, Gaye's body was cremated with half of his ashes spread near the Pacific Ocean by his three children and Anna Gaye. Gaye left behind no will. Doctors removed the tumor on May 17, On June 12, after reviewing a two-page report, including two psychiatric evaluations conducted by Dr. George agreed to grant Marvin Sr. As a result, he pleaded no contest to a voluntary manslaughter charge on September 20, During the sentencing hearing, Marvin Sr.
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You just don't have the practice or guide to teach you. Want to be more magnetic, attractive, and able to win friends and influence people? My dad died when I was 10 and he taught me so much in 10 yrs. I thank God that he spent time with me. His impact is ever lasting and my life today is a reflection of having a dad spend quality time with me.
First and foremost I am grateful to have my daughter as she has changed me. Sad reality I face is not been with my daughter. Funny how life is,men are constantly labelled as dogs and cheaters yet in my case I was dealt the infidelitly card and still my daughter has to live with the mother and the same man that destroyed our life So now reading the article I ask myself,what lies ahead for her,what is learning or been taught.
I am still crying….. I have the pleasure and blessings of two beautiful and wonderful daughters. The highlight of my life was our daily lives together as I nutured and watched them grow. What Pride, Joy and Love they bring to my life. Even today my heart is full watching them as adults. And yes you are very correct. The way we, they and I light up when we are together is beyond words.
Thank you Emily and Audrey! Reading articles like this makes me sad, due to the fact I had an emotionally absent father growing up. Luckily my mother was quite the opposite. I just hope a lot of dads read this article and take note. I have a 5 year old little girl who is the apple of my eye. I was unemployed from January of until December. Especially my little girl because her brother was in school so her and I spent everyday for the last year together.
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We would colour or paint, play outside, go for walks, go to the playground. She would do my hair and I would do hers or we would just cuddle and watch tv. We became so close I would often refer to her as my lap dog. If I went from the bedroom to the kitchen she was right there beside me. If I went out to mow the lawn, she would be right out there with me pushing her toy lawn mower.
If I wanted to nap? You guessed it, she would be napping right beside me. She started Kindergarten this past fall and I watched in anticipation as she left my side to go explore the world on her own kind of. I was nervous that her attitude towards me would change as she learns and grows. That has not happened and your article just drove that point home for me. I know that one day a man will come into her life and take her away from me but now I realize that nobody can take away what her and I have been building and will continue to build as she grows.
I just wish I could comb her hair forever. This article was pure truth. I was raised by my grandparents and a big daddies girl until my stepmother came into my life where my life was flipped upside down. My mother was in and out of the picture. My stepmother became his world and he threw me to my grandparents to be raised by them, while he went and started a family with her. I was forgotten and left for whoever wanted me.
I was hurt, still am almost 21 years later. I was never a bad kid though, my grandfather became my father figure but seeing my dad on a daily bases with his new family got to me everytime. I would have to beg my half sisters to ask if I could come stay the night with them just to be noticed half the time. I was never invited out of no where I always had to ask and I felt like a burden when I had to do that.
Eventually I stopped asking and put up walls and tried not to notice him. He never showed up at my high school graduation or even walked me down the isle at my own wedding as a matter a fact he never showed up. I forgive him but it causes me more pain to be in and out of his life, than to just push him away and keep him out. I have a 29 and a 25 year old daughters and an eight year old son all of whom I love beyond words can describe. Dr Meg, I was highly emotional when I read the posted article and reflected on the behaviour of my daughters, and son. I have shared your article on facebook.
God bless you. Hi Cara. My wife is an incredible mother to my year-old daughter. I can never ever provide for her the things my wife can. Emphasizing that while she is a pretty little girl there is so much more to her that should be valued first. I grew up without any sisters and was scared when I first had a little girl, but now realize that they are the greatest of blessings.
I want nothing more than for her to carry herself with pride, confidence and respect throughout her life. What is your advice for a six year old girl with an absent father who desperately wants a dad, but he will have nothing to do with her? It breaks my heart. That He would be, as Psalm says, a father to the fatherless to her.
Also, pray that the heart of her father would be captivated by Christ and that he would repent. Blessings on you and that sweet six year old. What is absolutely horrible though, is how many dads there are in society who want to be dads, but the family law system and jaded women work together to alienate these dads from their daughters. Young girls who have no positive male roll models in their life can be easily seduced by men she sees as father figures.
Men take advantage of these young girls and see them as promiscuous when quite the opposite is true. To all you step dads and future stepdads: if you are dating the mother of girls RUN if you are not willing to step up and be a father. Regardless of her behavior, be a respectful example of how a father treats his daughter.
If her dad is in the picture great. You must still let her know you are there for her. If her father is not in the picture your job is even tougher because she has already been let down by the most important man in her life. Be prepared for a fight! Fight for her! Sadly I never took the dad out of the picture but he vanished four five years than came back and than after a visit on her birthday he left again and continued it sadly at the age of 15 my daughter started to be someone I never knew while me her mom dating a older guy thinking he would be a good example but instead had a vulgar mouth and was very abusive my daughter started being the same way with me.
It broke my heart because my daughter and son were both the reason I fought to staying alive. Today my daughter is 21 blames me for her life. My son he instead just started being out of control by doing drugs. I had a good father a father who was always in my life a father who I was a friend with. I still can not understand where I went wrong and I fear the thought of my daughter hating me.
This is totally true, I am 64 and I have a bad memory of a cold, absent and unaffectionate father. It so happens that in my personal life, I was always drawn towards that same type of character in a man. Needless to tell you that my personal life still now is a mess. If I had found that out earlier in life, I am sure my life would have been different. As the father of 3 beautiful teenage girls, you have no idea how much I and im sure other fathers as well, needed to hear this.
Thank you…. This brought a tear to my eye! I am blessed with 2 daughters who could not be more different yet who I love with all my heart. Is there any way to print this out? I sit on the child and family law committee, I am a NH state Representative and my committee needs to read this! Let me know if I can help you. Recently being separated i read this and have now stopped in my tracks. Thank you again for the words needed. At the age of 93, my father passed away.
I was As we draw near the first anniversary of his passing, my heart is still heavy from the loss. I suspect that will not change much.
The Importance of Dads
My mother passed at 49, I was Since his passing, I am finding that I must now make good choices for myself and only since his passing have I realized that many decisions in my adult life, his approval, verbal or nonverbal, was of utmost importance to me. I have seen the truth in this article for myself in my own daughters I have 4. Their mother even comments on it all the; how the girls act sooo differently the minute I walk into the room. Reading this makes me want to even try harder to build up our relatiopnship even more. Thank you so much for the insight! Excellent read….
Thank you for this article and it is a truly wonderful sentiment. My daughters have taught me so much and our relationships cannot be stronger. Through prolonged divorce, I am distanced from my girls. And the cost to gain what I have was significant. She turns 17 today. I have always tried to be the kind of man I hope for her to marry someday so that A she will transfer her formative relationship from her father to a young man of like kind, B all other men will fail that comparison, and C she will imitate the kind of wife her mother is to me.
This young man is a Christian, even a fellow Baptist, as well as similarly experienced with ministry to South America. Hope and her brothers have accompanied my wife and I to Venezuela for the past decade. He took her to the prom last year. Before he even asked her, he came to me and asked me if he could ask her. How could I say no?
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Meeker, A great article, but what about the father that has nothing to do with their daughters? I met my girlfriend when she had a 14 year old and an 18 year old, who was out of the house by then, and their father had nothing to do with them for the previous 5 years of their life, after their mother had gotten divorced.
I have been with this women now for 14 years, and having no kids of my own, I adore these two girls like they were my own, and their real father only talks to them when he needs something. I have tried to be there for the girls with anything they need, and even though their mother and I are not married, I feel like I am more of a father than the ex who could care less about his own children. I know of several men who have stepped into this role and are truly more a father figure than some ex sperm donors. Great job Larry! I know you are such a blessing to them!
A call to fathers and men to step up is healthy….. Furthermore, current relationships, no matter how old a woman is, provide another opportunity for healing or worsening original wounds. Our daughters need hope, not psychological sentences. Carol Carlsen. What a great article that is so true.
I have a son 25, daughter 22, and daughter My ex husband left me for another woman 15 years ago. He has never been an involved father. During our divorce he only fought for more time with our kids to try to keep his child support lower. During this fight his own family members supported me in helping the judge understand his only concern was protecting his wallet.
I know how important a dads role is. I was the one drying the tears and trying to love them enough for both parents. The many times that two months or more had passed since they talked to him, his wife writing my 3 kids a letter about him choosing HER not them! This article is so true because even through all this hurt my kids keep trying to make a relationship with their dad. In the fall when I was having a conversation with my 16yr old daughter who tells me everything about her loss of over 30lbs in the past year she shared with me the pain she is suffering.
She told me she was depressed, had anxiety and thought of ending her life! She was afraid to tell me because she overheard me in the summer say that I thought suicide was selfish. She told me it had to do with her dad not being there. My daughter is beautiful inside and out, she has a 4.
Even with all this going for her she is struggling! I got her into couseling and she is doing much better. I love my kids so much I would do anything for them! I cried when I saw that interview knowing my children would struggle with those same issues! Also he has been going to church the past few years trying out different churches, even though I had to beg him to go with me and the kids on Christmas and Easter to the church the kids and I attended regularly. My son seems to be ok. My son also keeps in touch with him more because of their common interest in hunting and fishing.
I just want all my kids to be happy, healthy, confident and a peace whether or not their dad is in their life or not. Hopefully lots of fathers get the message in this article! It is so important! Success speaks for itself. Believe it or not. That goes for any religion. I can only tell the story from my own narrow minded perspective but I will never be apologetic for a hero of any story or for the villain. You know, I read this and agree with the article. I tried this with my daughter but failed.
I wish I could have been a better father to her but I just never learned how. Hopefully, in spite of all this, she grows up to have a very successful life. Oh wow. This breaks my heart. At least in my world. But I also have a 7 year old daughter without a daddy. My heart hurts to see how she already sees differences in our world. She knows she is supposed to have a daddy.
But I am their only parent. The only one to stick through the hard stuff. I get the rewards but they NEED a daddy. I need to ask an opinion on something. My daughter just turned 5 and sometimes she still needs help in the bath, she has really long hair, and a lot of times my husband is in there helping her. He just will not need my directive, he just goes by the theory that because I did the same thing with our older son when he was 5, that it automatically makes it okay for him to do it with her. My husband has this theory that my boundaries with our son, and his boundaries with our daughter relative to the age of the child should be identically streamlined, no exceptions; and our boundaries with our same sex children, while a little more liberal, should also be streamlined in the same way.
Am I the only who think this is a bit odd? Any advice? This is something that every father needs to read. I grew up in an abusive home, with an abusive father. I wish someone would have shown him this.
I wish someone would have shown him how his actions, and words would impact me. I hope they inspire and encourage. Thank you so much for writing this, and showing light onto a sad and dark reality for so many young girls. I try my best to be the best dad I can be. I will pick up my twin daughters for the weekend in a few hours. What an awesome girl and our relationship is rock solid. As she grows, you yourself will be amazed at what you learn from her. Be as involved as you can in her events. Get to know her teachers, coaches and mentors.
Most of them can turn out to be friends… some of them your best friends. Whatever higher power you believe in… teach her what you know. Faith can be all she may have at a later time in her life. We went to church every Sunday… it keeps your family together and God gives you so much more than the little you give Him.
Invest in her future early.
We started a college tuition plan when she was born. Last but not least… nobody is perfect but lead by example. Know she is watching you and use that as a guide in decisions you make. My Dad passed away many years ago, and as I look back now at the age of 55 years old, I acknowledge more than ever how critical my fathers guidance was to my life. I had a great relationship with my Dad, he was my pal — but in hindsight from my perspective today I did not need a pal — I needed a Dad with whom I could have discussed my future, my insecurities, my confidence, my hopes and dream — what I needed was a fathers guidance.
When we are young, we know it all — but when you get older you realize just how off course your knowing it all was. Even today at my age I sometimes feel lost and I need a Dad to talk to — but the space is empty. A husband can never fill the space of a Dad when it comes to advice. This is a great article, but unfortunately it only works part of the time. I did all the things I thought I was supposed to, much of it reflected in this article. But in the end, my beautiful daughter falsely accused me of unspeakable things because of the influence of her mother and her new husband.
It has been over 4 years and I have been estranged from her in all that time. Sometimes you love someone to the fullest, but in the end, you can experience pain you did not think possible. Please also remember the good dads who loved and lost. Life is not always so simple. Such a wonderful post it is! I think, Fathers are imperative to their girls.
The way a lady feels about herself is particularly subject to how she was dealt with by her dad as she was growing up.
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The Bible soeaks of instruction and teaching from the parents. The dad is there to guide and protect. The mother is told to take care of the home and the children. Women are told to teach other women. Not men. A man cannot teach a daughter how to be a woman. Yes, he can scold her about dating rough boys, but the mother and dad raise their children together.
Please do not diminish the mother. Anyone with training in child care and child psychology can tell you that the most important parent to a child, is the like gender parent. So know that the mother is the like gender parent to the daughter. The mother teaches the daughter and helps her to develop into a strong, confident woman, not dad by himself.
Be careful what information you put out there. This article is to, in no way, diminish the role of mothers! However statistics could not be more clear cencerning the importance of fathers in the lives of their daughters and sons, for that matter. Deeply feeling in my spirit what this article is speaking about, I feel very grieved.
I am currently separated from wife and daughter. I have been grieved in my spirit to the point of asking the Lord to take my life, but then I think that I do not want my daughter to be unequivocally fatherless. I never would have imagined that another person could have such a drastic affect on me, and vice versa. She has really taught me what real love that does not quit is. She has taught me what loving someone just for who they are is like, as well as experiencing someone loving me for just being me… her father.
My heart is twisted in anguish at my separation from her, especially knowing that it was due to my past sins that it happened. Sin exacts a heavy price even upon those who might not even be alive when the sin is committed.. God has forgiven me of all my sins and has greatly changed my heart to desperately long for Him and His righteousness… I pray that He will restore my day by day relationships with my wife and daughter, and help me to make up for times and moments lost.
I really do not understand those personally offended by this article.
I can tell you from having a very abusive father that these words are true. I suffered with very low self esteem, eating disorders, depression for many years and all these years later still have my moments. Sad but true. I gained strength from my lack but my life would have been much easier if things had been different. Totally agree with your genius tips. And the images are so colourful. I have a son and a daughter. Hope it will be working for my sweet daughter. Thanks again!! No adjective I can use with confidence to describe the usefulness of this article.
I need to work harder and smarter in preparing my daughter for the life she is facing and will face. Could I be a father up to the requirement of this article?